By Noela Suhfor
The Revelation
For years, I lived under the quiet assumption that my happiness was a reflection of my household’s harmony. If the children were thriving, I was successful; if they were struggling, I was failing.
But a few days ago, in the midst of the beautiful, loud chaos of raising four children, I had a revelation that stopped me in my tracks. I realized that by tying my joy to my children’s performance and moods, I had handed over my sovereignty to circumstances beyond my control. I sat down to write, not as a woman trying to “fix” her children, but as a mother reclaiming her soul.
What emerged was a decree—a realization that my wholeness is not a destination to be reached through my kids, but a truth to be claimed within myself.
The Decree of Joy
“I deeply release all limiting beliefs standing between me and my highest good. I am whole. I am complete. I lack nothing.”
The secret is in the feeling. I have the power to choose how I feel, and to use my feelings to direct what I want.
Currently, Motherhood has the most significant impact on my enjoyment of life. But for my joy to be made complete, I cannot put my hopes into how my children are doing—what they are doing with their time and life, no matter the age.
The Great Decoupling
I have to create within me a sense of joy and satisfaction that goes beyond their actions or words. I have to choose my actions toward them in a way that maintains that sense of peace. This means:
- Non-Attachment: I cannot be attached to the outcomes of their lives.
- Devotion: I am devoted to experiencing the present moment with acceptance and non-judgment.
- Trust: I must accept that they are also whole and complete, lacking nothing.
Life itself is a teacher, and everyone learns. If I lead with love, my actions will naturally support the growth and nourishment of those around me.
The Operant Power
To live a satisfying life, I align with these truths:
- Love the Creator: Everything is under the operant power of the One who first loved.
- Love Myself: I love myself enough to think, do, and say only the things that feel aligned with my being.
- Intentionality: I ensure my words and thoughts align with what I desire—not with what I don’t have, the opinions of others, or surrounding circumstances.
The Practice: The Tantrum
If my 7-year-old is throwing a tantrum, I must understand that the child is experiencing an emotion distinct from mine. I am under no obligation to share that experience. I must allow the child to express themselves fully without judgment; they will eventually learn a natural lesson on their own. To maintain my peace, I reject the thought of what others may be thinking. Their opinions have no operative power here. Only the child’s experience and my own aligned actions do.
Join the Conversation
- The Performance Trap: Do you find your mood rising and falling based on your child’s behavior? How would it feel to reclaim that joy today?
- The “Shared” Experience: Have you ever felt the heavy obligation to be as upset as your child is during a crisis?
- The Truth of Wholeness: How does your perspective change when you view your child as already “whole and complete,” regardless of the lesson they are currently learning?
I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
